Alexander Lightwood and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
by The Woman Who Wrote
Summary: Alec just can't catch a break. It's one thing after another until he gets sent to Nurse Loss's office. She's out for the day, but luckily a man calling himself Magnus Bane has taken her place. Maybe this day won't be so bad after all? High school AU; mostly human; Malec; Series of oneshots started with the one described above.
1. A Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

**Alexander Lightwood and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day**

 **Summary:** Alec just can't catch a break. It's one thing after another until he gets sent to Nurse Loss's office. She's out for the day, but luckily a man calling himself Magnus Bane has taken her place. Maybe this day won't be so bad after all? High school AU; mostly human

 **Pairing(s):** Malec (Also Clace and Sizzy, but those aren't relevant in this part)

 **A/N:** Just a little something that popped into my head.

"Nurse Loss?"

Alexander Lightwood could not be described as having a good day. He had woken up 10 minutes before school started, an unfortunate consequence of Church having unplugged his phone charger. Without the charger, the phone died and hence, his alarm died with it. While grumbling to himself and threatening to kill Church once he got his hands on the little monster, Alec hurriedly pulled on the closest clean clothing he could find after spraying himself down with deodorant. Once he had his backpack slung over his shoulder he ran out of the hotel like a bat out of hell with five minutes to spare. He did not stop running, and it was only thanks to his time with the track team that he ran the mile walk to school in four and a half minutes.

Fortunately, by some miracle he made it to homeroom just barely on time. Unfortunately, while the shirt, jacket and tie he had grabbed that morning were regulation for the uniform, his pants were not. How Izzy had convinced him to buy leather pants he would never, ever know. Alec panicked when his brain became clear enough that he remembered the pants he was wearing.

However, the teachers were not noticing his pants yet, more that he had none of his homework. It was with dread that Alec realized his backpack was filled with the art supplies that Izzy had made him buy for Clary's birthday. There had been a big sale, so despite the fact that Clary's birthday wasn't for another two months, Izzy 'needed' to buy presents. Therefore Alec went from class to class, unprepared. To his dismay there was a pop quiz in history, which his father's good friend and the man like an uncle to Alec, Hodge Starkweather, happened to teach.

After suffering the embarrassment of asking to borrow a pencil to compensate for having nothing but charcoal and watercolor brushes, Alec failed his quiz anyway. It was while he was on his way to physics that he tripped over a loose shoelace and fell to the ground, banging his head hard enough on a locker to get dizzy. He stumbled his way to physics and when he finally got there Mr. Fell looked him up and down once before banishing him to the nurse's office because he refused to teach any sort of ill person.

And so here Alec was, walking into the nurse's office with a mild limp.

"Nurse Loss?" Alec called out, but the office appeared to be empty. "Anyone?"

"Terribly sorry that no one has told you, but Catarina is out for the rest of the semester. How may I help you?"

Alec stared at the man who had appeared from behind a curtain. He was tall, slim, but well built. His evenly tan skin had a gold tone and his hair was a crown of dense spikes. Alec could swear there was glitter among the spikes, and the area around his eyes was suspiciously sparkly as well.

"I cannot help you if you do not speak," the man's mouth curved into a smile.

"Oh. I'm – I'm Alec."

"Well Alec, what seems to be the problem?"

"Everything?" Alec sighed. "But really I'm here because I fell down and hit my head on a locker. Mr. Fell said I looked like I would keel over any second and sent me away from class to go and see Nurse Loss."

"Well, she isn't here. My name is Magnus Bane, and I will be your nurse for today," Magnus gave him and easy smile and Alec felt a stir somewhere in his chest. He liked Magnus's smile. "So what is everything?"

"Hmm?" Alec was confused.

"You hit your head. Until I know how bad it is I can't let you sleep. So tell be about your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day Alexander."

"I don't–"

"Just tell me."

So Alec found himself telling this virtual stranger all about his day, which slowly spiraled into telling him everything. Soon Alec was venting all of his frustrations, not just about the day, but in general. How his mother and father wanted him to continue the family business with their hotel chain when he wanted to be a physicist. How they always prized his siblings above him, but he was still expected to set an example as the oldest. How hard it was to go to a school where his father was the principal. How terrified he was about coming out to his family–

Once he got to that point he stopped, startled that he had given so much information about himself and his life to a person he had just met.

"I'm sorry Magnus, you don't need to listen to me vent. Just – just please don't tell anyone?" Alec pleaded.

"It's fine Alec. And I never give away secrets that aren't mine," Magnus smiled at him again, and Alec realized that Magnus's hands were in his hair, ostensibly trying to locate the bump on Alec's scalp. "Also, I think you will be just fine. You have a slight bump, but you seem lucid enough. Let me just check your eyes."

Once Magnus was sure Alec wasn't concussed he sat him down at the small table located in the office.

"Shouldn't I be going back to class?" Alec asked.

"Do you really want to, when you have none of your homework to turn in?" Magnus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not really," Alec admitted.

"Besides, you haven't eaten anything all day, and you do not have a lunch. So, we are going to share mine."

* * *

Two days later Alec was sent to the nurse's office for a potentially sprained ankle after playing soccer in gym.

* * *

That Friday Alec was feeling dizzy in art class, which Mrs. Graymark let him out of with not a small amount of suspicion.

* * *

The following Tuesday he was feeling nauseous during math and was excused.

* * *

His sneezing was so thoroughly ridiculous during History on Thursday Mr. Starkweather insisted that he leave, citing that Alec disturbing the rest of the class.

* * *

On Monday when Alec claimed a headache Magnus threw his hands up in the air before giving in and kissing Alec full on the mouth.

"I really do have a bit of a headache," Alec spoke into the kiss.

"Oh really?" Magnus breathed back.

"Yeah. Do you know how much hard thinking it took to get you to kiss me?"


	2. The Squeaky Chair

**Alexander Lightwood and the Squeaky Chair**

 **Summary:** All Alec wants is to finish his homework in peace, but certain a certain warlock is determined to be as distracting as possible. Meanwhile computer rooms have lots of spinning chairs.

 **A/N:** After the positive response from the first oneshot I thought I'd share another short piece set the same universe. I doubt I'll do anything more than occasional snippets into the lives of this particular version of Malec, but it *could* develop into something more; depending on my schedule and interest level of readers. For now I'm keeping it marked as complete because each of these could keep the story wrapped up if I don't write another one. That said, if you follow the story you might get a notification saying I posted something else!

* * *

Alec Lightwood sighed and leaned back in his chair. He was never going to get any work done if the computer continued to fight him at every turn. He refused to ask Simon for help on account of the fact that asking his little sister's nerdy boyfriend for help would be almost as bad as the incident with Clary and her brief adventure as a foster mother to three ducklings. But the presentation had to be finished so that he wouldn't flunk out of AP Chem. The test was important, but no matter his score colleges would still be looking at class grades.

SQUEAK

Alec's eye twitched as he turned to look at the other occupant of the computer lab. Magnus Bane was spinning in what happened to be the squeakiest of the office chairs the school provided for their computer labs. From the grin on his face, Magnus knew he was being annoying as all hell, and was doing it on purpose.

Resolving to just ignore Magnus, Alec turned back to the computer. He thought he was making progress, and was just about to click save when-

SQUEEEEEEEEEEAK

The noise was closer this time and managed to startle Alec enough that he accidentally clicked delete. "For the love of the Angel!" Alec groaned and put his head in his hands before looking up at Magnus Bane of his existence and giving him the best glare that Alec could muster.

Magnus continued to spin, and the chair continued to squeak, as he ignored Alec's blatant disapproval. Alec crossed his arms, his tattoos standing out over his tensed muscles. Magnus's spinning slowed as he took in Alec's posture, and he eventually stopped.

"Thank you."

Alec turned back to the computer, shrugging on a holey sweater as he did so since the air conditioning was starting to kick in. Looking at the computer with a frown he wondered how he was going to finish this in the 10 minutes before Mr. Starkweather came to shut down the lab.

"Start cooperating, computer. The only person who gets to annoy Alec is my magnificent self."

Alec raised an eyebrow, but acquiesced and let Magnus take over control of the computer. Soon his entire presentation was back on the screen.

"How-"

"Magic," Magnus waggled blue sparkling fingers.

"Magnus, I thought we agreed-"

"No magic for nefarious purposes outside of the bedroom, I know. But all I really did was retrieve your data-"

"Magnus!" Alec interrupted sharply.

"What?"

"Never mind." Alec sighed. "Just be careful?"

"Of course. I'll see you at the apartment later?" Magnus lightly grasped Alec's wrist.

"If I can get away from the others. Living in a hotel for the elite has the downside of way too many cameras. I can't wait until I graduate and can finally move out-"

"And in with me."

"Yes, in with you," Alec smiled and pulled Magnus closer to himself. The door handle started to turn and as a consequence Magnus and Alec jumped apart from each other. Alec, being a student and Magnus *technically* part of the staff their relationship wasn't exactly allowed.

"Bane, what are you doing in here?" Mr. Starkweather frowned.

"Terribly sorry sir. Alec was feeling a little sick earlier and Catarina sent me to check up on him." Magnus grinned charmingly, however the history professor was not amused.

"Well I trust that you will be able to confirm with Nurse Loss that Mr. Lightwood is doing just fine?"

"Yes sir, Alec appears to be in tip top shape." Magnus grinned again, and Mr. Starkweather's frown deepened.

"It would serve you well to stop being so familiar, Bane."

"Oh, well I don't mind at all Mr. Starkweather," Alec interrupted before Magnus could say anything. "I mean, I prefer to be called Alec. I would in fact be more disrespectful of Magnus to call me by anything other than the name I prefer. Besides, with my brother a student here and my father the principal, wouldn't it be more prudent to distinguish who he is talking about?" Alec's counterargument was firm and Mr. Starkweather could see that this was going nowhere.

"Very well. However, I do have things to discuss with you Mr. Lightwood, so if you would kindly depart that would be much appreciated." Mr. Starkweather hardly spared Magnus another look as he left the room.

"What do you want Hodge?" Alec asked with crossed arms.

* * *

It only took twenty minutes to placate his father's favorite teacher before Alec managed to break away and start the journey home. Once he finally got back to his own room in the Hotel of the Angels, owned by his mother and therefore his home, not just a hotel, Alec threw his bag onto his bed and sank into his desk chair.

His phone buzzed and when Alec checked the caller ID he realized it was Magnus.

As Alec turned in his chair he heard a small squeak and smiled.

"Hey Magnus, what's up?"


	3. Independence

**A/N: And here I am, back for more. Apparently I just can't stay away from these two. This is the point at which things are probably going to kick off into a longer story, so I am changing this to "work in progress" in the spirit of the fact that there are more things in store for my little corner of Malec. This is also cross-posted on AO3 in my "Days in the Life of Malec" series, which can be found under either "The Woman Who Wrote" or my head pseudonym "Jesmalestiel".**

 _ **Alexander Lightwood and Independence**_

 **Summary:** There are dancing ingredients and decisions to be made. Or: Alec and Magnus have a serious conversation that devolves into pie.

"I'm not moving in with you."

The apple Magnus had been about to eat had teeth marks in it. He slowly put the fruit down onto the table and wiped the arbitrary amount of juice off his mouth as slowly as possible to digest what had been said.

"I presume you have a reason?" he asked smoothly.

"Yes." Alec winced as he realized how fast that had come out. "It's not that I don't like you! Or that I don't want to be with you! But we're only known each other for what, six months? And I'm only 18, I mean 18-year-olds do stupid shit, don't they?" Alec paused as he scratched the back of his head, a horrified look on his face." Not that I think you're stupid shit!"

"Well I'm glad you think so highly of me." Magnus replied dryly. Alec looked to open his mouth in protest before Magnus sat up and leaned over the table in-between them. "I know what you're trying to say, and I agree."

Alec look startled, and more than a little uncomfortable. "You do?"

Magnus sighed "I'm twenty-two Alec, four years older than you - "

"Three and a half - "

"That's not the point and you know it." Magnus gave him a look. "We're at separate places in our lives. You're just starting out, figuring out who you are in the world without your parents. I've been without them for most of my life, so I'm used to that. But I've had four - alright, three and a half more years to grow into myself than you have. I don't want to be what defines your earliest years as an adult."

"You don't define me." Alec protested.

"Of course I don't right now, it really has been only, what did you say, six months? But I am afraid that - I want to take care of you, and help you, but I don't want to be a hindrance to your independence, or - "

"Magnus stop." Alec leaned against the table "You're not a hindrance to my independence, precisely because we agree about this." Both of them smiled in relief at the mutual understanding. "And besides that, your apartment is too far away." Alec pecked Magnus on the lips before jumping up and over towards the kitchen.

"Two far away for what?" Magnus called out as he also stood.

"Well I can't very well live in New York and still go to university in Cambridge, can I?"

"You're moving to England?" Magnus asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Nah, just New England. I got in!"

"To MIT or Harvard?" Magnus asked with a grin.

"Both actually." Alec shrugged, but Magnus could tell he was genuinely proud of himself. "But I'm choosing MIT. It's got a better physics program and will show my parents I'm serious about my career path."

"Well, this does deserve a celebration. Let's make pie!" Magnus clapped and suddenly the kitchen cabinets opened, containers of flour and sugar dancing out. Meanwhile the apple that Magnus had almost eaten floated from where it had been abandoned on the coffee table to rest with its fellows on a cutting board.

Alec tilted his head to the side. "Huh."

"What is it?"

"I didn't know that cinnamon sticks could do cartwheels."

"The more you know."

Pie made and (barely) cooled, the two men sat on the roof of Magnus' apartment building looking out at the city, taking turns with forks going directly into the pie pan.

"I don't love New York, but I think I'll miss it." Alec mused, looking down on all the city below.

"Will you miss me?" Magnus playfully hit Alec's shoulder with his own.

"Hey!" Alec eyed him reproachfully before throwing an arm around Magnus. "Of course I'll miss you. You'll come visit?"

"As often as you like. I'm a warlock Alec, I'm only a portal away." Alec smiled, and it reached his eyes before they dimmed. "What's wrong? You were smiling and now you're not."

"Nothing's wrong, I'm just – everyone I know and love will still be here, and my family's not like you Magnus, they're just – we're just – mere mortals. And it'll be nice to get away from mum and dad, but Max is so young, I'm going to miss him growing up. And Jace, Izzy, Clary, even Simon, they're all going to be here and I'll be – I don't know. Cambridge. A new city, new people, and very close to the enemy."

"The enemy?" Magnus asked with yet another raised eyebrow. Alec nodded his head solemnly.

"Red Sox fans."

Magnus threw back his head and laughed, his cackles lost to the wind for everyone but Alec and Magnus himself. Eventually he stopped, but with a smile on his face.

"You'll be fine darling. And they'll be fine. Besides, I can always portal you back here. It works both ways you know."

"True, true." Alec took another bite of the pie and almost moaned.

"Do you like it?"

"Do you actually put magic in this stuff? Because I wouldn't be surprised if you did."

"All natural darling."

"Didn't answer the question, magic occurs in nature, therefore it's natural to use magic. Or I guess supernatural if we get technical."

"Are we getting technical?"

"Maybe. Or we could get physical."

"Was that an invitation?"

"Are you asking."

"I don't know, does soliciting pie make me your bitch?"

"Only if you want to be."

 **A/N: I don't know where those last few lines came from… I'm doing my best to make sure that these characters do what I want, but they've been running away from me, even though I finally got rid of (some) of that pesky writer's block. Just so y'all know, I stopped watching the show after season one because I got concussed and have had to stay away from screens and have had to use my screen time for mildly more important things like class and work. But y'all want to know more about the days in the life of Malec, not my personal problems.**


End file.
